Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Jackson - The snowman's melted heart

With the first snow of the year, you and your brother have been so excited. Staring out the window at the snow flakes as they fall, you repeatedly ask if you could go out and play in it. As the snow begins to stick to the ground and put on a couple inches you ask again this time mentioning you want to play basketball in the snow. I smile at the thought and wonder why you want to play basketball in the snow of all things.

As usual, I just got home from work. I'm tired. I don't want to go out in the snow. This seems to be a pattern of mine. I'm too tired. I don't want to race cars. I don't want do whatever it is you are requesting of me. You are sad, but soon you are distracted with something else. I can justify that you are happy doing whatever it is you are doing and it is ok that I turned down whatever it is you asked of me.

The next day something is different. I come home and you ask the question I was expecting before I even pulled into the garage, "Can we go play in the snow?!" My answer comes as a surprise to you as I answer yes. You run around excitedly. You tell mom you are going to play in the snow. You ask if we can play basketball, to which I agree once again. You no longer can contain your joy.

With mom's help we get all dressed for the snow and go out to play. You are somewhat interested in helping me build a snowman. Parker keeps a safe distance, unsure what to think of the snow. We trudge around the house, build some more snowmen and you lose a shoe in the mud. We come back to the front of the house where we finally play some basketball. Not too much later I announce we are going back inside. You lose it. You are having so much fun and don't want to go in. I, however, am a little wet and cold and I can tell Parker is just about done.

We go inside and I calm you down by offering to do some of your school work with you at the table, to which you heartily agree. For the next 15-20 minutes we do your school work together while mom makes dinner.

The rest of the evening went well. As I lay down next to your mom for bed that night I tell her that "I was a good dad today!" I was proud of myself for putting away the distractions and for taking the time to play with you. I didn't think I had done much, but I had enjoyed the time spent with you. However, this is not what I wanted to share.

The next day at work your mom messaged me. She told me how you couldn't stop talking about playing in the snow with me and doing school work together the day before. My heart melted as I realized that something that didn't seem that significant to me could have had such a profound effect on you.

I love you so much! I hope and pray that I can be the dad you want and deserve in your life. I'm trying harder each day to better avoid distractions and my own laziness in order to have more opportunities like the one I just shared. You make me so happy and proud to be your dad!

Love,

Dad

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