An experience shared by Kate Mackay
I had to stay home from church because Addi and Jenn were sick so I was helping Rich and Dell get dressed and out of the house.
I had to stay home from church because Addi and Jenn were sick so I was helping Rich and Dell get dressed and out of the house.
Rich was struggling after his
shower; shaky, out of energy, pale, the usual fibro effects. I made him a
quick lunch and put it on the bed next to him. I asked if he wanted me
to offer a prayer. He said yes.
I
started and thanked Him and asked for the usual things
but then things changed during the prayer. With everything inside of me
I desperately wanted Richard to be healed. No more pain. No more fibro
issues. No more suffering. I wanted desperately for him to be able to
work outside the home so I could selfishly stay home with my girls. I so
wanted to ask for all of this. In my mind I
was, I was begging for it all. I started to cry for it all. But the
words, “please allow
Richard the strength, energy, and relief to get through church until he
can come home.” Those were for sure not my words or my thoughts.
So where did
they come from? I was an emotional wreck for the rest of the day/ For the first time in my life I felt
constrained to pray for the thing I so deeply wanted. I felt as though
Heavenly Father would not allow those words to come out of my mouth.
I talked to Richard
briefly about it. I asked if that was what a priesthood blessing felt
like. You want to say something or heal someone so desperately but the
Lord has another plan and we have to accept that the things we want to ask for
may not be the best things. Certain thoughts and feelings are restrained
so the Lord can bless us fully, in His time and in His way.
I felt like today for the first time I
wasn’t just talking to Heavenly Father, but that we were communicating
and I was submissive to His will. Not just accepting, but submissive. It
hurt. But the tender mercies from the Lord enveloped me. I felt the
tenderness of “Abba” today. My husband and daughter got home safely and
the fibro attack did not last long. He is not free from suffering, but he will
make it. He was promised to be healed one day. We just have to hold on
to that.
Love,
K